Self Flagellation
Something about me is that i'm very critical of my self, I tend to over analyse everything and judge my motives for doing things. Sometimes when I do someone a favour or i'm being nice to a person, I try to examine myself to know if i'm being nice because I want something in return or gratitude or just pure selflessness.
This attribute can be a blessing and a curse, bad in the sense that in everything I perceive to have done or said wrong I always beat my self up even if sometimes i'm not in the wrong , so before people have the opportunity to criticize me in that instance, I have done that a million times. It also makes me overthink and worry about things other people might consider minute
This self flagellation also helps me keeps my motivation right, eradicates negative impulses and behavior and helps me think things through to the outcomes of whatever choice i'm about to make so that i don't regret them later on. Being self aware is so freeing at times yet choking, because some days you'll just want to throw caution to the wind and do some things but then you know you are not about that life plus the consequences of such actions can be unfavourable to you and your mental well-being, like why put yourself through chest pain you could have avoided. I am constantly putting my life in check,reviewing my choices to know where I can make changes.
However, one thing about being constantly aware of things is that you also expect people to be that way,you tend to hold people to the high level of behavior and character that you hold yourself to. Personally, I've experienced that when I hold people to that level they usually well disappoint,because they aren't you and cant do anything to the standard you'll want and they can't be perfect and that not everyone is as self aware. It sometimes leads them to believe you are being arrogant or being goody-two-shoes but really you are conscious and know your limits, but I have learnt to just accept people for what they are and go with the flow and if their excesses are too much, I bid them adieu.
This attribute can be a blessing and a curse, bad in the sense that in everything I perceive to have done or said wrong I always beat my self up even if sometimes i'm not in the wrong , so before people have the opportunity to criticize me in that instance, I have done that a million times. It also makes me overthink and worry about things other people might consider minute
This self flagellation also helps me keeps my motivation right, eradicates negative impulses and behavior and helps me think things through to the outcomes of whatever choice i'm about to make so that i don't regret them later on. Being self aware is so freeing at times yet choking, because some days you'll just want to throw caution to the wind and do some things but then you know you are not about that life plus the consequences of such actions can be unfavourable to you and your mental well-being, like why put yourself through chest pain you could have avoided. I am constantly putting my life in check,reviewing my choices to know where I can make changes.
However, one thing about being constantly aware of things is that you also expect people to be that way,you tend to hold people to the high level of behavior and character that you hold yourself to. Personally, I've experienced that when I hold people to that level they usually well disappoint,because they aren't you and cant do anything to the standard you'll want and they can't be perfect and that not everyone is as self aware. It sometimes leads them to believe you are being arrogant or being goody-two-shoes but really you are conscious and know your limits, but I have learnt to just accept people for what they are and go with the flow and if their excesses are too much, I bid them adieu.
Comments
Post a Comment