Blackgirl

Welcome everyone back to my first love, my blog and poetry. Words cannot be said about why I stopped but i'm back and it feels like heaven. It's funny how I see more of myself clearly during a pandemic, maybe it's because there's nowhere to run or hide this time and you have to face your demons head on. This pandemic is causing a lot of us to question ourselves and what we thought we knew but we'll be alright. Also I hope we are all safe and socially distancing and finding happiness in various little ways. So, here is a short piece I wrote a few days ago. Dear Ori, Do not ever let me dine with vultures  And eat meals that make me fat with silence Let me never eat that which will gag me And cover my eyes in times when evil deeds are done Let hunger never let me scrounge for food at the devil's table Or feed off his crumbs to live Let them never hold my life in shackles in exchange for help May I never let the sn...

  I have written of tales  Of sadness and despair Of pain and suffering Of light and love and joy And dancing And lustful passion but never Have I written of what it’s like To be broken by the ones you trust and love And who you’d hope would fight for you Whose arms you thought would give warmth and solace  And would shield from hurt The ones they say stick closer than brothers Nobody ever speaks of the shattering of heart, mind and soul And every shard of being, minced When they stick that spear in  And grace your heart with pepper The levels of pain inexplicable As gone is both friend and trust You open, vulnerable, splayed like A lab rat for all to infer Because you gave your heart to that one person

You came to my mind today Your bright Colgate smile From those perfectly formed lips Your eyes, your cute bunny nose You tall chocolate fountain Are what dreams are made of I remember my heart beating loudly At the sight of you Every image of you like an eclipse Of fireworks lighting my whole being You captured my heart and made me a prisoner to you A prisoner of love Love that only I knew about But I felt like we were old lovers The imagined conversations The one where you filled my dark days with your laughter And nights with dirty dealings in lust Of us wining and dining And me staring for days into those eyes   Our wedding did I already plan But I only knew your name   The name of angels and unicorns burst.

She had the strength of her ancestors Force field of those who have come before Brave, powerful women who broke glass ceilings for me to be here Gone above and beyond what was expected Proven that our bodies belong to us Refused to be pegged down They stand here with me, leading me through open doors Their words and actions reverberating my marrows Filling my blood with endorphins My mothers are here They circle me, the bond unbroken Hearkening to their voices, channeling this rage This pain, the bruises and scraped knees from begging Slumped shoulders from the weight of patriarchy It is time to rise to use this pain to fight Fighting for all that I will be For me and those to come The strength of my mothers who fought  for I will wage war So that my sisters coming do not have to I will scream, Blood and bodies may lay To cleanse tomorrow The freedom of the personhood of my...

This poem came about after attending Lagos International Poetry Festival last weekend. Being surrounded by so much creative energy was so filling, i'm still riding on that high. It's funny how we say we love our mothers and lovers  Yet we choose to measure the love in the amount of pain they've endured The amount of violence, of bullshit they tolerated from us Yet this is the love we claim Love vowed from not being our fathers Yet doing same to our lovers Yet raising our fists Cutting skin with our words and actions  Still laying claim to love The love we show by saying "yes strong woman You stayed, you allowed us break you Thank you for letting us use as we see fit your bodies" This love we proclaim to the whole world  Tweeting and Facebooking about Is the love that drags women through the dregs of hell and back  Using as footmats to step on as we please  And as ego boosters when we feel low Yet this is l...