State Of Mind

On this journey of self-discovery, I've found out a whole bunch of things and met a whole lot of people. Most times i'm confused, not knowing if i'm making the right or wrong choices, taking decisions all on my own is scary but I know at the end of the day I learn from it, both good and bad lessons. Trying to be me is difficult because a lot of people have opinions on who you should be or what to do but I've found that I'm truly the only one who knows what's best for me, what the limit is and what is good for me. This journey can get lonely but its worth it, I'm in my hiding place, my desert as Rev. Ocran puts it, but I'm working on me. Finding yourself is something personal, deep and scary but that's what makes it worth it , because at the end you find yourself, you know yourself, you embrace yourself in your wholeness and entirety. Sometimes I'm lazy and procrastinate but I'll get it surely. Sometimes it feels too much to handle but that's why I have God, He glides me through it all. I have lots of questions and  a lot yet still unanswered.  Every single day I feel like I'm on a whole 'nother frequency and operate on other worldly vibes but I think the worst thing I've ever done to myself is try to fit in  and seek people's approval,because honestly its choking. One thing I've found about my self is I'm no sheep and I've learnt that  I really don't need anyone's approval to live. People say I live my life too safe but really is there anything that's safe, living everyday is a risk trust me I know I'm Nigerian . I might be young and ''not know exactly what I want but I know exactly what I don't want''- (Femi Jacobs) but I'll get it eventually.  I am not trying to force anything at the moment just going through the motions, feeling things as they come, shedding  a lot of skin and growing new ones. I'm opening up myself and healing too, freeing myself of the binds. I am embracing my strangeness, quirkiness and oddness but its me and I'm loving me.