Moms

A lot of times, you'll see posts from people about how much they love their moms because of all the things she has done for them, how much she has sacrificed, how much she has suffered. A lot of them have this illusion that for you to be a very good woman you have to suffer or give the whole of yourself to your family.

 Let me put it this way, from their 'appreciation' of mothers, it shows that majority of them won't love their mom if she didn't sacrifice for them because of course they have they no other reason to. Because of course motherly love = suffering. It’s this kind of mentality that keeps women bound in unhealthy, abusive, emotionally and physically draining relationships because they want to be seen as good mothers.

 As young girls we are taught to kowtow and bend to the wills of men, so as not to inconvenience them. We are told to live our lives to please men, made to see men as the prize. ''Oh is this how you'll behave in your husband house", '' if you can’t cook, how will you feed your husband''. These statements would have been alright if while growing up males are taught the same.

All this statements and more, each and every day ends up making females see men as the prize. The ultimate reward for being good and those who don’t are labeled wayward and constantly shamed. They get married; they give all of their selves to their kids and husbands, having no sense of selfhood just to be a good wife and mother.

Oh, let’s not also forget the men using the word ‘’strong woman” to bind you in a fix. By using the word strong woman, they paint a picture of a flawless, perfect, self sacrificing, stick dummy that does as she is told with no life outside the family. Strong woman because they give you pain, anguish and constantly sap you and sit there and take it all smiling.

I’m extremely thankful for my mom. She isn’t the strong woman in my eyes, she is a perfectly flawed human. She might have sacrificed some things. Regardless, she never lost herself. She has a life, a self not hidden in perfectionism. A self I can love as a human, with or without sacrifices